TheKnot

TheKnot

The Future Mrs.

Finally, I'm on the official road to becoming Mrs. Clowney. The beginning of the wedding planning process has already proved a bit stressful. All of these years I have had this ideal wedding pictured in my head. Now that the time is here, a part of me really wishes I could just have a small ceremony on some tropical island. However, so many folks have waited to see the day when "Little Ms. Phyllis", walks down the aisle. I'm so torn. I don't want this to be a huge wedding with the number of invites, however, deciding who to "leave out" is crazy. Plus, when I try excluding folks my parents think otherwise. I know they are paying the bulk, but still - I really just want to become the wife of my amazing fiance. The event is nice, but I want the after more than the event. It's funny how that is an indicator for me of how far God has brought me through this whole process of accepting love and giving love.

How I Know

Someone asked me how do I know Sam is THE ONE. Well, it's really a different perspective. Being a girl and wanting to be loved, often clouds judgment. However, I know how protective I am of kids when it really comes down to it. That is my passion. So, to help me step back and make a decision I always looked at it from my future children's perspective. Everytime I speak to Sam and look at Sam, I beam as I look into the future and think how blessed I will be when my boys grow up into men like their father. Or that my daughter(s) will someday bring a young man home that exudes the qualities in their dad. That just simply excites me. This is how I know Sam is THE ONE. I love this man for everything God has created Him to be.

Those 3 Words

Last week, I heard the words that every little girl longs to hear... "I love you". I was holding out and wanting him to say the words first... being a typical girl. However, they were just as sweet in response to me letting go of those words first. When he said them back, there were no tears as I thought. My instant reaction was to a wave of peace that flooded my spirit. At that moment I realized how much I love him. I've loved him for a while, but the emotions that followed were a confirmation of my desire to honor and love him forever.

Bahamas 08

An Ice Cream Sundae My Way

In October, I was spending an endless day in the ICU waiting room and one of my best friends, Stacie, stopped by to keep me company. It was a relief to have a great friend who I didn't have to say much to but yet communicate fully with. We talked about our family, careers, stresses, and got a little goofy. Toward the end of our conversation we were talking about relationships. I shared my dating woes and utter confusion and anger about a relationship I thought I was in. She shared a great tidbit comparing her past relationship (which we thought was "the one" initially) to an imitation ice cream sundae. There were scoops of ice cream and a few sprinkles, but that would not constitute a real sundae to her. I had been on several dates and had several friendships going with guys that were potential boyfriend material, but I wasn't quite liking the way those sundaes were looking. With that and some prayer, I cleared some slates. There was so much going on with taking care of my mom that I just needed not to be concerned with dating and relationships with men. I kept the only guy who had proven himself to be a gentleman and my male best friend, and told the rest goodbye. I went a month without the obsessive checking of all the dating websites I was on. Then, I decided to clear out some email. I noticed an email from Match.com. I thought, like most of the times before, it was some creepy old guy or at least creepy guy wanting to talk to me. I opened the email ready to click delete as soon as the profile snippet appeared. However, as the picture filtered its way on the screen I saw the most beautiful sight, and thought, Surely this guy has to be nuts or some stalker. He was too hot for this to really work. Guys that nice looking don't stop to look at me. I know I'm brooding with confidence. So, anywho I took a chance, upgraded my membership, and began communicating with ...

It's now 7 months later and we leave for our first vacation together in 2 days! I cannot tell you what it is like when God blesses you with someone who is madly in love with Him, caring, kind, giving, romantic, funny, educated, and excellent communicator, intelligent, and a card carrying member of The Eye Candy Club. Wow...what an ice cream sundae.